i cant stop asking for help

i don’t know how much longer

i can embarrass myself

scratching at a wall

as if it would respond

screaming without ever opening my mouth

if i could just let my thoughts rot

in the sick hole

they carved into my head

i would

but they keep oozing out of my eyes

my ears

my nose

i can see them when i look at myself

staining my lips

two decades of pain, leaking

like a strong woman's spine

and the bathroom walls

i cant get it all out

even if i use my hands

even when i know nobody will actually help

i unfolded at some point

an unfinished origami crane

and i cant seem to cover myself back up